I have been thinking a lot lately about past friendships. When I left secondary school at 16 someone I considered a very good friend wrote a poem in my “leaver’s book” about the importance of keeping old friends. New friends are like silver, it said, but the old ones are gold. Back then, I understood this to mean simply that old friendships are worth more because they last longer.

But gold is more precious because it is more rare, not because it is more beautiful. Old friendships have to weather strong storms to last; they have to make it through the separations of different life paths and changing attitudes. New friends are much easier to come by, but are easily let go. The friend who wrote that poem in my leaver’s book was perhaps trying to warn me of something. A couple of years later I would lose contact with her. Perhaps that was for the best, but there are some lost friendships that I wonder if I should, or could, have held onto for longer.

Recently I joined Friends Reunited. It was a move prompted by a conversation with a new friend about past friends. I had fun telling stories about past adventures with friends I hadn’t talked to for years, and I felt a pang of regret at that loss. Particularly for one. So I sent her an email and received an unexpected reply. It was like reaching a hand back into the past and grasping hold of something. I hope it will continue.

In a fit of looking back, I emailed school friends to find out what they were doing now. It was a lesson in time, and I learnt a lot. I find myself hoping that broken friendships can be fixed.

A couple of years ago one was resurrected from near-death. A friendship that had been strong and had ended badly was haunting me, so I decided to do something about it. I sent an email. I got a reply. Things needed patching up, and perhaps the bandaids are still visible. But we talk, and remember the good times, and that is worth a lot.

To read this you would think I go around breaking every friendship I make, which is not the case. The best friendships are the old ones, when you are able to keep them. They come in two types. There are those that are long-standing and strong, but which can easily weather the silences that become inevitable over time. I have friends I haven’t spoken to for months, even years, but whom I could call up tonight for a chat. I should do that more.

And then there are the ones that stay strong over the years.

Eight years ago last week I met a friend on the other side of the world. Seven years ago today we met for the first time. I remember the excitement of that day, of knowing someone so well in words but not in images. It’s a friendship that has had to weather stronger storms than most, not least national boundaries. That makes it rare. Real gold.

That’s as soppy as I get for today.